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Nov. 15th, 2010

And here I am, back on the relatively calm and happy side of my personality. WTF is going on, honestly? Is it just depression or do I have some other sort of mental illness? Honestly, if I'm getting enough child-free/not in charge of kids time, enough sex, enough sleep, and enough time with my most-loved friends, then I'm mostly okay. Let's not even get into the effect that exercise has on all of this, because I don't have enough kid-free time to go to yoga more than once a week right now, and even that's hard to swing. Blech.

In other matters impacting my sanity, I do not understand HOW people can manage home-improvement projects on their own and not kill a) themselves, b) each other, c) their kid(s), or d) all of the above. We have our cabinets and sink installed, temporarily, but will have to pull them out again next week when the undamaged cabinets arrive. I don't know what I should be more annoyed about - that we received damaged goods or that I failed to inspect the cabinets upon receipt but instead waited until they were in my house (and the old cabinets removed!) to notice most of the damage. My uncle helped us (i.e. did most of the work) and I think I owe him about 10 pairs of handknit socks for the amount of work this is taking. I'd have pulled a Milton Waddams if Chris and I had been doing this by ourselves.

Tomorrow I have to drive Grace to school because she got kicked off the bus for two days. She was jumping around/moving from seat to seat again and since this was her third write-up they suspended her bus privileges for two days. Really? That's exactly what I needed to deal with right now. I can't seem to get it through her head that this is NOT OKAY and that she is going to be walking to school if she gets kicked off the bus permanently.

Remind me to schedule a massage ASAP. I've figured out that one of the things that comes with depression is physical pain, which in turn depresses me. If I get a massage and work some of that out it'll hopefully make my whole mental state better. Not to mention that my MT is a dear dear friend and sessions with her are akin to sessions with a psychotherapist. And that it's just good to feel safe and that if I need to cry the whole time I'm there it'll be okay and she won't stop loving me because of it.

And now I'm going to bed because I'm getting all teary and am clearly overtired. My internet privileges should be taken away around midnight, I think.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
kitchenwitch
Nov. 15th, 2010 01:14 pm (UTC)
I think your mental illness is called "motherhood." Seriously. :) Self-care is pretty freakin' important. Put YOU first sometimes!
jessikate
Nov. 15th, 2010 02:17 pm (UTC)
I feel like all I can manage is to try to carve out time and space for myself. I'm starting to feel like I'm exhausting my childcare supply, so I'm not sure what to do here. I really hope I can get Arlo into school after the new year, which would help a ton with the whole craziness thing.
coconuthead
Nov. 15th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
This is your massage reminder. You surely have earned one!
jessikate
Nov. 15th, 2010 10:29 pm (UTC)
It's scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thanks for reminding me!
posthaste
Nov. 18th, 2010 12:06 am (UTC)
if you ever want to get together and talk, let me know.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )